Grief can feel like a rug has been pulled from under our feet. When death is unexpected, we feel shock and feel numb. It is a very disorienting process, and at times it can be a slow and painful. Even when death is anticipated and expected, it may still stun us and it may take time for its reality and finality to set in. The delay in accepting this new reality is perfectly normal.
You may experience emotions during this time such as grief bursts, weeping, anger or despondency. Know that these are normal, healthy responses to loss. You may also experience a loss of appetite, loss of energy, or a change of sleeping habits. Grief is not only an emotional journey; it has a physical effect upon us as well. Keep your primary care physician informed of all these symptoms you are experiencing.
Each person’s journey through the grief process is unique, as well as their support needs. Your grief is your own; no one else can determine how or how long you should grieve. However, there are many experiences that are similar in this process.
Reaching out for support and allowing ourselves to feel our feelings, and allowing one's grief to be witnessed by others is a step forward. Please use the resources below. Doing some readings on the topic may help normalize certain things you are going through.
You may experience emotions during this time such as grief bursts, weeping, anger or despondency. Know that these are normal, healthy responses to loss. You may also experience a loss of appetite, loss of energy, or a change of sleeping habits. Grief is not only an emotional journey; it has a physical effect upon us as well. Keep your primary care physician informed of all these symptoms you are experiencing.
Each person’s journey through the grief process is unique, as well as their support needs. Your grief is your own; no one else can determine how or how long you should grieve. However, there are many experiences that are similar in this process.
Reaching out for support and allowing ourselves to feel our feelings, and allowing one's grief to be witnessed by others is a step forward. Please use the resources below. Doing some readings on the topic may help normalize certain things you are going through.
Basics
Online Resources
- The 7 Best Online Grief Support Groups of 2020
- Finding The Right Online Grief Support Groups
- David Kessler's Grief.com
- David Kessler: Online Grief Courses and Workshops to Remember With More Love Than Pain
- David Kessler's FaceBook Virtual Support: Grief: Releasing Pain, Remembering Love & Finding Meaning
- Megan Devine's Refuge in Grief
- Grief Healing - Marty Tousley Resource Page
- Sibling Grief Online Support Group
- Motherless Daughters: Online Support for Women who lost their mothers to Covid 19
- Native Americans: Grief & Loss
- PDF: Holidays (Dougy Center)
- PDF: Managing Complicated Grief
- PDF: Alcohol & Grief (short article)
- PDF: Guilt & Grief Basics
- PDF: Guilt & Grief - Forgiving Yourself
- Grief & Mindfulness
- PDF: Breathing
- PDF: Grief and Bereavement
- PDF: Bereavement Journal for Adults
- Grief Support for those with Dementia
- Caregiver Support and Resources
- 23 Popular Online and In-Person Caregiver Support Groups
- The Dougy Center: The National Center for Grieving Children & Families
- The National Alliance for Grieving Children
- PDF: Bereavement Resource Manual (has handy "Scripts" on conversing with children - p. 10-19)
- PDF: How Children Grieve and How Parents and Other Adults Can Support Them
- PDF: Helping Children When A Loved One is Dying (CGC)
- PDF: Developmental Characteristics of Children's Understanding of Death
- Article: Acknowledging Autistic Individuals' Grief
- Autism and Grief Project
- Resources on Autism & Grief
- Helping Kids with Autism Understand Death
- Supporting Individuals on the Autism Spectrum Coping with Grief and Loss
- Autistic Grief Is Not Like Neurotypical Grief (*has handy pointers/recommendations for caregivers)
- Navigating Grief and Loss as an Autistic Adult
- PDF: Autism & Grief Guide
Albuquerque Resources
GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES
- List of Grief Support Groups in Albuquerque
- Cancer Support Groups in Albuquerque
- The Grief Center (formerly the Children's Grief Center and Grief Resource Center)
- Survivors of Suicide (ABQ Chapter)
- Low Cost Counseling
- Bilingual Counseling (Spanish)
- Community Resource Counseling (Compiled by CNM)
- Substance Abuse Resource (Compiled by CNM)
- Addiction Recovery Resources NM 2020 (Compiled by New Mexico Department of Health - NMDOH)
- New Mexico Substance Abuse Resource Directory 2018 (Compiled by NMDOH)
- Veterans Affairs: Office of Survivors Assistance
- VA benefits for spouses, dependents, survivors, and family caregivers
- Seniors Affairs Quick Guide 2020-2021
- Catholic Sacraments Hotline in ABQ for patients: 505-831-8100 (ask for Father Glenn Jones)
Crisis Hotlines
Gallup & Grants Resources
Santa Fe Resources
Poems, Prayers & Songs
- We Remember Them / We Remember You
- Four Candles Ceremony
- Blessed Are Those Who Mourn Litany
- Blessing for the Brokenhearted
- Blessing for the Longest Night
- When the Panic
- Dance with a Limp
- Grief (by Gwen Flowers)
- Beannacht (A blessing for the weary)
- Questions to Consider When Waking (Invite to step into our call/vocation)
- How You Loved Me
- The Thing Is
- Hey God
- Blessing the Seed
- Blessing for Healthcare Workers
Hiring a Therapist
- How to Find a Therapist (article on professional labels, background, education)
- Psychology Today Search Tool OR Good Therapy Search Tool
- Questions to ask a therapist
- Questions to ask a therapist before your first appointment
- Questions to ask yourself before you officially hire a therapist
